Pregnancy Update!

With all our friends and family spread out around the globe I thought I'd share how our pregnancy is and has been going so everyone could take part and share in our joy with us!


1st Trimester:

oofda.
This trimester was really really hard for us. I've never felt so sick in my whole life! I had constant nausea everyday all day, the thought of any food or any drink, including water, was pure torture...and if I thought thinking about them was bad seeing them was even worse and smelling them...
well there aren't words.
Many days I'd lay on the floor and not move from that one position for hours on end, desperately praying that the my stomach would settle...and it did about 14 weeks later.
It was so bad I kept telling myself that if I lived through this I was never going to get pregnant again. (Don't worry, that thinking didn't last and by 20 weeks I wanted to have 100 babies back to back.)

I was really really sensitive to smell in this trimester and almost anything that had any smell made me want to run to the bathroom, especially the way Lij smelt after working with wood all day...something about that woody smell really got to me. Thankfully I didn't end up vomiting too many times during this trimester it was mostly just constant intense nausea.
Whoever called it "morning" sickness was never pregnant,
of that I'm certain.



2nd Trimester:

This trimester was amazing as far as symptoms go, the only real issue I had physically was I developed pregnancy rhinitis... from what I understand because of certain hormones in your system the membranes in your nose swell giving you a constant stuffy nose with little to no respite... the pregnancy book said "but don't worry symptoms should clear up a week or two after birth!"
A WEEK OR TWO AFTER BIRTH?!! THAT'S MONTHS AWAY!
Eventually I got used to the constant congestion and it did ease up some as time went on. Another strange symptom I had was swelling in my face towards the last few weeks of this trimester.. I'd wake up with an eye swollen shut, the side of my nose and cheek swollen, or one of my lips swollen. It was very strange and uncommon but only lasted for a few weeks.
Some of my favorite moments from this trimester were the first time I felt the baby move and our ultrasound.

The first time I ever felt her move Lij and I were worshipping in our living room, I was sitting on the couch singing quietly along when I felt it, 3 distinct taps in my belly. I started screaming "ELIJAH THE BABY IS MOVING!" And before I'd finished speaking she had kicked again! I couldn't believe it! It was such a special and beautiful/exciting moment for us! That was right at 18 weeks.

Our ultrasound was probably one of the highlights of my entire life. We were 20 weeks along and so at that point I felt the baby moving quiet a bit. But at the ultrasound not only could I feel her move but I'd get to see what she was doing at the same time. I'd feel a jab and see a leg kick on the screen, it was magical. And this was also when we found out that we were having a baby GIRL!!! Lij and I had both felt it was a girl the whole time but began to second guess ourselves because EVERYONE else was convinced it was a boy, they were all totally shocked to see the pink onesie and not blue at our christmas reveal! I think this moment was really special for Lij as well and made it all that much more real for him. We could see this little person with arms and legs (shapely legs!) and a strong heartbeat and we had made her! There she was!! She didn't seem to like the lady pushing on my belly with the ultrasound  stick thing because she kept squirming and kicking, at one point she kicked her leg straight out!

Apparently she did get some of that spartan Greek blood from her mother. ;)

This is also the trimester when we found the Lord brought us our wonderful midwife Paulette and we decided to go with a home birth! Getting to sit and talk with her and see her personal attention and care for both Elijah and me through this process was definitely a great gift!
Unfortunately I ended up developing a kidney infection towards the end of this trimester but thankfully with lots of prayer and natural medicine it cleared up about a month later!


3rd Trimester:

This trimester has been the hardest on my body but is my favorite trimester of all. Although I had boundless amounts of energy in the second trimester and often times didn't even notice I was pregnant the third trimester tops them all because of how close I feel to our little sunshine. Out of all the trimesters of this pregnancy I feel like a mom the most in this one. I felt a shift in my heart and can feel that I've really taken on this role and calling and am getting so excited to raise this little one with my amazing husband. Now that my belly is so big that there's no way I can't notice it, the whole thing feels and seems very real!
Symptoms I'm experiencing this trimester are mostly a lot of aches and pains: back aches and pains that make it hard to sleep, pains in my ribs as the baby begins to run out of room and stretches to try to find some, and pain from sharper jabs and kicks. I'm also just generally uncomfortable as my big belly makes it hard to stand up or sit down or climb stairs the way I would have before, and makes it very hard to sleep. My poor husband is surrounded by a mountain of pillows as I desperately try to alleviate some of the pressure on my body by using pillows as support. My feet, hands, and calves are also swelling quiet a bit and make it hard to walk at times but a little elevation usually clears it up. I was really sad when I had to remove my wedding ring two weekends ago because my fingers are swelling too much. But it all feels very worth it!! And having a husband who is such a tender, compassionate helper makes it all feel manageable. He puts my shoes on, helps me hoist up to stand, helps me roll over , holds me while I cry, listens and comes to look at all the work I've done in the baby room...he really is such a gem and I could never do this without him. Love you chooey! :)

I've also been experiencing that nesting thing people talk about. For me it's a strong desire to make sure the house is clean and organized before we go into labor as well as reading as much as I can to prepare for breastfeeding and newborn care. It's so exciting that I wish she'd just hurry up and be here !! I can't wait to meet her and I find my brain is constantly full of all things baby. I imagine bathing her, carrying her, putting cute headbands on her, cuddling her, especially breastfeeding her, talking with her when she's a toddler and teaching her about the Lord, disciplining her, watching her cuddle with her dad, a million wonderful wonderful things.

 My life has been a big adventure since my wonderful husband came along, I find he's always inviting me out of my comfort zone to try new things and taking me on fun and exciting experiences. This baby is our biggest adventure yet and I can't wait to jump off this plane with the Lord as our only safety net and my husband beside me!
So friends and family, that's our pregnancy so far!!
Thanks for all of your well wishes, love, and prayer!

Kicks In the Ribs & Heart

Very soon I'll be holding a beautiful little girl in my arms.

Mind=blown.

A real life person! A real life baby!!

woah.

It's crazy and amazing to think that there will be a whole new person on the planet and I'm the doorway; she'll enter this world through me and her life starts inside of me! I can't get my mind around it, and at this point I just can't wait to meet this darling little ball of sunshine.

Baby fever is real people, she's all I think about all day long whether its folding and refolding her baby clothes, organizing the nursery, lovingly looking at her cloth diapers or smelling her newborn disposable diapers  (true story and I like the smell, of the clean ones anyway). I just can't seem to stop doing something, anything that has to do with her.

But then sometimes the idea of being a mother is really scary,
the amount of sacrifice...the inability to be selfish with my life and my desires and my time, the dependance of someone else's life on mine. I feel the worlds thinking flood into my mind, and I begin to wonder is this a valuable use of my life? Is giving up these things to raise children worth it? Am I going to pour myself into something that matters?

I was reading a chapter from a book called Mom Enough: The Fearless Mother's Heart and Hope by the women of Desiring God, and was so overly moved by their message,
in one of the chapters the author wrote,

"It is easy to think you have a heart for orphans on the other side of the world, but to resent the demands of the children in your living room.  You cannot have a heart for the gospel and fussiness about your life at the same time...A true love of the gospel overflows and overpowers. It will be in everything you do, however drab, however simple, however repetitive. God loves little offerings. Given in faith, that plate of PB&Js will feed thousands. Your laundry pile, selflessly tackled daily, will be used in the hands of God to clothe many. Offered with thankfulness, your work at home is only the beggining. Do not think that your work does not matter. In God's hands, your offerings will be broken, and broken, and broken again, until all have eaten and are satisfied.

And even then, there will be leftovers."

When I was a little girl all I wanted to be was a mommy, I had my beautiful baby born baby doll, who pooped and peed out the food you fed her I might add, and I would walk her around the town in my little stroller and change her little diapers. I loved her dearly.
And yet, somewhere along the way I got swept up in the cultural mindset that being a mother wasn't worth much and didn't amount to anything, that it was a drain on your time and life...

but then I lay in bed at night,
and I feel this little girl inside me...so dependent on me, so trustful of my ability to provide what she needs, so safe in her haven in my tummy...
I feel her toss and turn and stretch out her tiny arms and legs,
I feel her hiccup, and shove her feet into my ribs and I'm lost for words and yet found somewhere in this calling on my life.
In the call to lay down my life and die a thousand deaths for my children I feel my heart blossom into life, like she wiggled those teeny toes up my ribs and right into my heart and I want nothing else in all the world than to give her all my love,
than to make every sacrifice necessary for her.

The world has it wrong,
and it's because it doesn't understand the nature of love...to give everything even to the point of death and come alive in the sacrifice of it all.


I guess in the end, that's why He died isn't it?
Because He so loved the world, because He so loved you and me and this little girl in my belly...
he loved 
and so he died, and brought the rest of us life through his dieing.




For all the moms out there,
know that your sacrifices really are seen and really do matter. Even if no one says thanks you, even if its the thousandth dish you've washed today, or the millionth sandwich you've made...there's something much bigger you're doing here. You're pouring life into lives and being examples of His love, what a worthy way to spend your talents and efforts and time. And thank you, thank you for it all.

For all the women who are going to be mamas soon,
 Know that it will be a sacrifice but it will be worth it, and you are stepping into more than a role, or a season, you are stepping into a calling and a hope, into a love like you've never known. Even though your back might hurt, or you may be reading this in your brief respites between toilet bowl hugs, even though your feet are so swollen you can't remember what an ankle is or if you've ever seen one down there (not that you can see much past your belly anyway)...just know its worth it, theres a little person in there who makes all the uncomfortable moments and pains worth it, and your sacrifice even now is giving them life.



love you all. <3
-one in love mama :)